Every Passing Day!!

Yet another day without you Dad, it is getting harder and harder every passing day. I understand, it happens with everyone and some day you have to be alone and make decisions at your own but I am not been able to accept it. Not getting how to move on, though I am trying every passing day but what to do with this heart which is not ready to accept that you left us.

Not complaining about anything Dad, but I am not a person who believes in destiny, God......
I know it was not to that extreme that you would not have made it and somewhere down the line I do believe that I am responsible for what has happened since I wasn't there and let you go through that hard time by yourself. I never thought that I am talking to you for the very last time that morning!!

I can't even imagine what you have been through during that time knowing that none of your kid is there with you. I see it every night, things your friends told me during your last times and I guess I will never forgive myself to leave you alone in that pain. I never had this realization that I will never see you again, Dad. There was a lot I wanted to share and wanted you to guide your son through his life but here I am, all alone, thinking about you every single day.

I kept moving in life thinking about a day we all will stay together. Dad, how to tell you, I see you with open eyes, still feel you are there at home and will hug you again someday while coming back home.

Initially it's Dadu, then You and it will be Me at some stage in life, I do not complaint about it but it wasn't the time Dad.It will keep hurting me entire life that you went through such a pain and I wasn't there for you. I know I will never forgive myself for this but it hardly makes a difference since I have lost you now and I guess forever!

Yet Another Begining without you...........!!

It's about the moment, my whole family was waiting for - My Marriage!! So many plans, so much to think about, so much to look out for, so much to care about and yet nothing was finalized. To me , it was like the biggest decision and I wanted to take my time to look out for the one who is the best fit for our family. Educated but at the same time, someone who knows her values, who knows what it takes to be a part of a new family and a new beginning.

My biggest concern was not to get married to someone who cares a lot about just the 2 of us, which is 'the' reason I took so much time for this decision but 'nt thought in the weirdest of my dreams that I will get married by the time - my biggest strength will be missing from my life.

Yes, it's painful, but true!! I wanted my soul mate to know, how this man looks upon life......
What hardships he faced to settle us in life, what aspiration he had in his life, what a loving person he was, his larger than life attitude towards whatever he does and what is missing in our lives when he is not here - Yes, he is my dad, my loving PAPA!!

This one is for you dad........................

I got married but you were not here;
Dad, m still waiting for you to appear!
Still remember the words you keep telling me;
I know, they were gold but unlucky me!!

I dreamt about the life, will stay together;
Here we are, thinking, crying, and trying to get better!
Don't know how this life will get going without you;
At times, I feel like, just to be with you!!

I have seen you many a times in all these days;
please come back dad, this is what my heart prays!
I know you are there with your son forever;
But it's hard to accept dad, whatsoever!!

I haven't kept your pics as I know I don't need them;
You are my soul and this is what I believe in!
I still have your number and wish it will ring someday;
Your name appearing ( papa calling...) on my cell, and takes all my pain away!!

Time passes by and priorities gets changed;
I had to move on, though in pain!
But your my heart Dad and just not a priority;
I will keep you alive inside me, till eternity!!

I miss those moments I dreamt about us being together;
Dad, no wonder how much I write but i know it doesn't even matter!
I hope you see us every passing day;
It's hard, it's difficult and have nothing else to say!!


It's hard for me as a son to express - how much I love you;
The only grudge I have is to live without you!

Love you Dad, If possible be with me for once!!

I Miss U...Papa

Good were the times when we were together,
I'm in your laps and nothing else matters;
I wonder what happened as I keep looking for you,
Papa, just want to tell, that I MISS YOU!

You teach me, you beat me, you make me to smile,
now this is the time, your son haven't laughed for a while;
I still wonder what happened and what took you away,
you never told me Dad, that you will leave me someday.

Now here I am, doing things m not supposed to do,
Dad, I cant handle this, as it belongs to you;
All I wanted from life is to be with you,
Dad, what should I say, I just Miss U.

I shout, I cry, I put myself in pain,
Papa, please come back, I want to be with you again;
I spent my life dreaming about the moments will stay together,
this is the time, you left me thinking about you, forever.

Yes, I know, you are gone and will never see you again,
but please make this heart accept the fact, as it will always be in pain;
I wish I could tell you once, how much I Love you;
but this is the time you left me saying, Papa...
I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU, I MISS YOU!!

I 'll Always be Your Reflection ...DAD!!

You told me how to walk, how to sit, when I was a kid,
You hold my hand and become my strength, whenever I need;
I always look up to you, as I know you will be there,
Now I have to be alone, since you are not here.

I look back at the moments I spent with you Dad,
I still wait for that hug and I know I am sad;
I cherish the time when you hold my hand,
You stood beside me, in every way you can.

I remember the times when it was tough and painful,
Then I look at you and wonder, how you come out of it being successful;
Dad, I know I will never see you again,
but if there's another life, I want to be your son again.

I remember the things you taught me about life,
though, I never took those seriously 'coz I know - my Dad is there for me to guide;
I remember the times, I come to meet you and mum, which excites me even more,
Dad, I don't know how your son will come back home, knowing you are not there, anymore.

Wonder you look at mum and realize, how much she misses you
Dad, I know you are not here, but tell me how to live without you?
I never thought of a life without you,
but here I am, still living, still alive and wonder where are you?